Mind vs Body

So, I've been realizing something more and more lately: My body is calling out for children. Every time I see a cute kid on the street or television, I say something stupid like "That is such a good looking child; I hope my kids are that good looking," or something like that. Especially little boys... for some reason I have a tendency to want a son. It's weird. Every time I think or say something about wanting kids, I stop myself and wonder why I just had that notion, because I really don't want children yet. I'm only (6 days short of) 21. I don't need or want kids for about another decade.
So my mind and body are fighting with each other about this subject matter. You see, my body is very impulsive, and it feels that I'm now to the age where I should be having kids. Maybe it has to do with so many people in my family having kids at around my age, maybe it has to do with the caveman instincts- you know, where so many ancestors did or felt something, and somehow through DNA or genetic whatever, that same action or feeling gets passed on to you. But whatever the cause, I'm happy that my mind isn't putting up with my body's bullcrap. My mind knows that I would make a horrible parent right now. I would grow to resent my children for taking my youth away from me. I want to stay young and free for as long as I can.
Body: Psssst, Nicole.... Hey, see that toddler over there? The one with the dark brown curly hair? Look how cute he is. Your kids will have dark curly hair, I know it. Isn't he adorable? Doesn't it make you want to-
Mind: Stop! Stop right there! Body, we've had this discussion. Nicole, sure he's cute, but think about all the crying, screaming, pooping, and sleepless nights his parents have gone through to raise him. Are you ready for that? I think not.
Body: Mind, listen... She doesn't have much time left. She's not a teenager anymore. She's only got 252 eggs left in her. Every month, she loses one- whoops, make that 251. You see?! Time is ticking! Pretty soon, she won't have any left, and she won't have passed on her lineage.
Mind: I'm not listening to this. If I let you have your way, she'd have 8 kids by the time she's 30-
Body: Only 8?!-
Mind: -and I won't let that happen. She won't end up a shriveled up, bitter old woman so long as I have a say in it.
Body: Fine. Let her become a lonely old maid. Pft. See if I care.
Mind: I won't let that happen.

~1 day later~

Body: Hey Nicole, look at that baby over there. Or even better... Look at that chocolate cake his head is next to...

Mind: Goddamnit, Body!

Bye bye, nicole

Smarts

If in the case you were wondering as to the credentials and general intelligence of yours truly, here is a screenshot of my smartness.

I whited out anything that revealed personal information... or just embarrassing stuff.

I'm overall smarter than 98% of people within 5 years of my age on this website. I feel so smart! Here's a link, you should check the site out: Lumosity

In other news, this is the first time I've posted two updates in one day! Oh sure, it's fine now, but wait till I start getting really into it; I'll end up turning Impressionation into a status update. It'll get annoying really fast.
Also, yes that is Plants vs Zombies and World of Warcraft on my toolbar. I know. I'm cool.

See ya, nicole

Relationships

So, I have the best boyfriend ever. I love him to pieces. Just sayin'.

Such a loving relationship we have.

Looking back, I wonder what makes our relationship work so well. There's a quote by someone (not sure who) that says:

"We're all at least a little weird, and life is extremely weird... So when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with our own, we join up in a mutual weirdness and call it love"

Which I think generally sums up my relationship with Brennen. I cannot think of anyone else in the world who would think my farts are cute, or who will let me motorboat him, or who will laugh when I tell corny jokes (although, sometimes I think he's laughing at me). But there must be other components, right?

1) We are each other's best friends. True, we have other friends that we hang out with, but at the end of the day, we always come together to make fun of our friends (and I'm kidding, to any of my friends reading this). We tell each other our secretest secrets, and and most annoying complaints. We completely confide in each other, even if it means telling the other one that yes, that dress does make your butt look big (Sorry Brennen, you just can't pull off floral prints).

2) We fight. Maybe you're first thought might be that this is a bad thing. Sure, if couple fight several times a day, then yes, that is probably a negative sign. But fighting or arguing is actually a good sign, if done right. You have to stay calm, respect each other's opinions, and try not to throw any punches. And sometimes, when the other person is mad at you, even if you think you're absolutely right and have done nothing wrong, just apologize. You need to fess up to the fact that even though it's not a big deal to you, it is to them, and in doing or saying something wrong, you've inadvertently hurt their feelings. So swallow you're pride and just do what you can to make them feel better about it. They'll do the same for you if they ever make you mad.

3) We take an interest in each other. He's an introverted gamer. I'm an extroverted actress. When we first got together, I thought World of Warcraft was a spin-off of Dungeons and Dragons, and he thought... well, I don't even know if he knew plays still existed. But we evolved, and now we have an appreciation for each other's passions. This is very important, because not taking an interest in your bf/gf's passions is like saying they don't interest you.

4) We talk every day. This is probably more reserved for long-distance things, but talking every day is crucial because we only see each other every week or ever other week. Skype is especially helpful for this.

5) We are comfortable with each other. We fart and burp together. We make funny faces. We tickle each other. We wrestle. We say stupid things, knowing that this is the only person you can say stupid things to and it won't matter. For example, he was at PAX this last year in Washington and I said something like "I'm sure you'll have a great time. Unless aliens decide to blow up the building the convention is in. In which case I don't think anyone will have a good time." He just laughed and called me a dork and said he loved me, while my cousin who was walking with me gave me the weirdest look ever, like I had just painted my face blue and set my hair on fire while running through the mall naked singing "Home on the Range."

Anyways, the point is, I love my boyfriend, he is splendiferous in every way, and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

That's all for now, nicole.

Pets

Just so you know ahead of time, this is a rather long story, but it's worth it, I think.
So, when I was a freshman in college, we were only allowed to have fish for pets. So I got a beta fish, because they're pretty and low-maintenance.I named him Buddy, or Lil Buddy.

So Buddy seemed pretty content; I mean, I gave him a roomy bowl, nice decorations, a little castle, the works. I cleaned out his bowl regularly as well, even if he didn't like being forcefully removed from his home and made to reside in a small cup until I was done "spring cleaning."
One day, I decided it was time for said spring cleaning. Once I was done, Lil Buddy seemed pretty happy to be back home, on my desk behind my laptop. Satisfied that I did something productive for the day, I started browsing the internet- ahem, I mean, studying profusely (because I'm in college, and that's what college people do, right?) for a while. Not sure how long it was, maybe less than an hour. Then Brennen calls me, and we start chatting. I'm telling him about my day:
Me: Oh, so I cleaned Buddy's bowl today.
Brennnen: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, he seems really...

Then I stop talking, because I realize that I can't see Buddy. Thinking he was hiding in his castle, I stand up to look inside the bowl. As I did so, I noticed a dried out brown leaf on my desk. I think to myself "Golly, that sure is weird," and go to pick it up. Just as I'm about to make contact, I realize that it's not a leaf- it's the shriveled up corpse of  Buddy!

What Buddy looked like post-mortem. I got this picture from another person's blog. Apparently beta fish suicide is pretty common.

So I do what any level-headed, intelligent, beautiful young lady may do in this situation: Start screaming and jumping around. Accompanied with this hysteria came freaked-out-tears and hyperventilation. Possibly the first time in my life I've ever hyperventilated.
I run out of my room, with Brennen still on the phone, and mind you, I haven't explained to him what has happened. My suite-mates come running out of their rooms (because I was rather loud) wondering if I was alright. I manage to explain to them and Brennen what happen.
So I calm myself down after 5 minutes, and decide that I need to grow a pair and dispose of the body. With two flash cards, one to scoop and one to carry, I attempted such. However, when I touched Buddy, HE TWITCHED. Seriously.
So I again freak out pretty badly, and my friends once again come to my aid. We all came to the general consensus that we needed a boy. One friend went across the hall to fetch one. He comes in, and we explain what happened, and he's all like:
"Oh yeah, No wonder you freaked out, fish and reptiles retain nerves even after they're dead. I know that, cuz I'm a guy, and I like gross things, la dee da dee da*."  Not an exact quote
So he picks Buddy up with the flash cards and goes to flush it in our bathroom. Two seconds later, he runs out, and tells us all to come and look. OK, I'm not shitting you on this next thing:
BUDDY WAS SWIMMING AROUND IN THE TOILET BOWL.
Like, seriously.
So now I'm wondering if I should get him out, but before we could take action, Buddy Swims down the U-Bend! Giving up, we seal his fate and flush the toilet, deciding that if he wanted death that badly, he could have it.
Plus we didn't want someone to pee, and look in to see a fish swimming around. That would be fairly frightening.

See ya, nicole

Body Functions

So I did something really stupid the other morning. It's slightly embarrassing, and I mulled over whether or not to write a post about it for a couple of days. Lucky for you, I decided to endure the ridicule, and share my adventure with you.
I didn't have to be up terribly early, but there was a thunderstorm that woke me up. It was still fairly early (like, 7:30ish), so I tried going back to sleep. While I was laying there, I had a gurgling in my stomach that turned into a bout of flatulence. In other words, I let out a huge fart- and why shouldn't I? Despite the popular belief, girls do pass gas, and even *gasp!* poop. So with that relief having taken place, I embarked on my way back to dreamworld, snuggled up in my heating blanket and comforter.
Unfortunately, within 20 seconds of this, lightning accompanied thunder, and the bright flashing made it hard to go back to sleep. I normally keep an eye-mask next to my bed for such occasions, but this morning, it was nowhere (near my bed, at least) to be found, and I didn't want to get out of bed to look for it.
Now here comes the stupid part:
I turn over towards the wall, and pull my comforter and bed sheet over my head to block the light.
Oh. My. God.
I must have been at least 3/4 asleep to forget that less than 15 seconds ago, I broke wind underneath said bed sheets. Not smart. The stench was fairly horrible.
Needless to say, I quickly retreated from within my stink infested, light blocking fort, gasping for clean air. And, again needless to say, I became far too awake to go back to sleep.

Adios, nicole

Aging

I hear all the time that one of the worst way to give yourself wrinkles is to lay on your face when you sleep. Others include obvious reasons, like smoking, drinking, and not washing your face. Now, they say that if you can't help sleeping on your face, then get a satin or silk pillowcase to prevent the wrinkles. To this, I must ask: What the eff? How does that help in any way? The logic behind wrinkle pillow sleeping is that you're putting weight on one side of your face, crushing and rippling it night after night. How does the material make a difference? There's still weight on your face. Even if it does help, I'd probably just end up slipping off the luxurious pillow down to the cotton covered mattress. Back to square 1. And don't even mention silk or satin bedsheets to fix the slipping problem, because I would just slide out of bed whilst I slumber. I think carpet or hardwood floor is worse than a squishy pillow.

Aaack!!! Stop it, while you're young!

So now I have two options: 1) learn to sleep uncomfortably on my back and never spoon again, or 2) live with the consequences of sleeping soundly and get the fucking wrinkles. However, now I'm in a Catch 22, because if I sleep soundly on my face, I'll get wrinkles, but if I sleep uncomfortably on my back, I'll lose sleep, and thusly still give myself wrinkles. *Sigh* I guess I'll just deal with the lesser two evils.

There are other consequences to sleeping on your side as well. Yes, it's still wrinkles, but somewhere else: boobies. Yes, that's right, squishing your twins together every night causes a vertical line. I think it's them trying to set a distinction to which side is whose.

Left Boob: OK, now that this giant line is here, stay on your side!
Right Boob: Maybe I would, but the refrigerator's on your side!
Left Boob: That may be, but the bathroom's with you, so I think I have to put up with more, so shove it.
Right Boob: Listen, why do we have to split up like this? Can't we share Nicole's left and right side equally? I mean, I was hoping we could still be--
Left Boob: Be what? FRIENDS? Not after I caught you with that other girl's left boob.
Right Boob: We were comparing sizes! I swear baby, she means nothing to me!
Left Boob: No! I've had it with your BS! Don't make this harder than it already is.


Yeah, suddenly, I'm really glad my boobs can't talk.

Bye bye, nicole

Blue Footed Boobies

Beauty

Alert the media!* Our society has an obsession with beauty! Holy Crap!!!*****

Sarcasm*****

So, it's not any surprise that our society has a very tight, specific, cookie cutter idea of beauty. Because of fashion models and Photoshop, women are expected to be extremely thin, while men are required to have washboard abs. People put their bodies through torture via liposuction, facial reconstructive surgery, breaking legs to become taller, surgery to change the sound of your voice, and even aesthetic genital surgery... "designer vaginas", if you will. Can't you just picture it now? Swarovski Crystal Lined Labias! Vera Wang Vulvas! John Deer Trimmed Bikini Areas? Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Anyways, we all know that whenever we open a fashion magazine, all we see is skinny women Photoshopped into perfection. There are even places like this that endorse anorexia.

Perfection****

Now, I'm not saying that skinny women aren't real women; do you have a vagina? Then you're a woman. Neither am I trying to say that they aren't beautiful.Thin women have an air of delicacy and grace. I have often caught myself envying thin women because of their "fairyness" as I call it.

Wow, she could definitely afford to lose a few****

But there's nothing wrong with curves either. Women with curves are just as beautiful. It really comes down to personal taste to decide which you prefer. I would place myself in the "curves" category. My measurements are 36" bust, 27" waist,  38" hip. Do I think I'm fat? On good days like this, no. Of course, I have my days when I feel so bloated or insecure that I feel like I'm an oversized blob of blubber. But almost every woman has those days. Truth is, I've finally come to a point in my life where I can look at myself and think I'm beautiful.

Do you think these women are fat?

Being able to call yourself beautiful is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders (haha, puns). I struggled with it for years, mainly because I had curves in 6th grade when most girls are stick skinny through most of high school. I went through being teased for my boobs for years (I'm talking like 4th grade [yes, I had to wear a bra in 4th grade, and not a training bra either] through 6th or 7th grade, until they finally became objects of envy). These years of torment scarred me and left me feeling overweight when I wasn't. Pair that with our society's obsession that ONLY skinny women are beautiful, and if course I was doomed for an eating disorder.
Life is much better now. True, there are still things about my body I would like to change, of course, but we're all our worst critics. And this is not only for women, but men too. You think men aren't insecure about themselves? Shiiiiit, man. Of course they are! Everyone is affected by Greek God and Goddess advertisements. It's not fair to anyone to shove one concept of beauty down our throats. A lot of people take the stance that magazines should only portray curvy women, which isn't right either. What we need is variety.
Thoughts?

Ta-ta for now, nicole



PS, Happy 38 Months, Brennen. Love you.

An interesting thought...

I heard something the other day:

Faith is the belief in something that is not based on fact, and since God knows everything, He cannot have faith. And because God is the highest power, He can not believe in a higher power. So, conclusively, God is an atheist. 
Now, please don't go off on a rant about how I must be an atheist, or that I'm going to Hell for believing this, or anything else. I don't want to start a religious battle; I just thought this was an interesting point of view *shrug*.
So hello to my numerous and splendiferous fans! How are you this fine day? I'm doing quite well, in case you're interested. I suppose I should take this time to let you know more about Yours Truly. I'm 20, about to turn 21 (but I don't take much stock on drinking). I am an actor, a player of the stage, and I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. I love it. For all you lonely guys out there, sorry, I'm madly in love with my boyfriend; for the sake of confidentiality, let's call him Brennen. We've been together for a little over 3 years, and we're not slowing down any time soon. I live in SoCal, and I love it. I highly doubt I will move away at any time. Unless there's an invasion of 1930's Nazis. Or an impending meteor shower. Or both. Or if I get a really, REALLY tempting job in New York. It would have to be SNL or something like that to get me to move somewhere where it snows for half the year. Not that I don't like snow, but a girl who grew up in the desert area (120 degrees in the summer) can only take so much.
I'm not very politically active. I should be, but I'm not. For some reason, I don't care to know President Obama's every move, or which country hurt what country's feelings. I just feel like there can be so much activity, drama, and stress in my own life, why do I need to add more by reading the paper every day? Maybe after I get out of school, I'll be so bored with no homework I'll have to resort to the news. Until then, I'll be self-absorbed and concentrate on keeping my life as hectic-free as possible. 
Speaking of which, not much is going on in my life right now. I'm acting in Equus as Dora Strang. I've never had to play an uptight religious person before, so it's a work in progress. But I definitely think I'm getting the hang of it. I need to do more research and thought about the type of person Dora is, so by the end of this, I will be able to portray her very well. All in all, I am very excited to be involved in this play. 
Maybe next time I'll have something a bit more interesting for you all to read. Oh, also, I'm thinking about turning this into a video blog! Thoughts? Comments? Let me know!
Adios, nicole.

Greetings!

Welcome to Post #1 of hopefully many. My name is Nicole, and I'm an actress majoring in Theatre at (Unnamed Prestigious) University. I plan on making this blog about funny events in my life, social commentary, specified criticisms, all mixed in with Rediculosity and Impressionism. I'm not quite sure what that means yet, but that's ok: it'll be an adventure! We'll figure it out together =)