Pets

Just so you know ahead of time, this is a rather long story, but it's worth it, I think.
So, when I was a freshman in college, we were only allowed to have fish for pets. So I got a beta fish, because they're pretty and low-maintenance.I named him Buddy, or Lil Buddy.

So Buddy seemed pretty content; I mean, I gave him a roomy bowl, nice decorations, a little castle, the works. I cleaned out his bowl regularly as well, even if he didn't like being forcefully removed from his home and made to reside in a small cup until I was done "spring cleaning."
One day, I decided it was time for said spring cleaning. Once I was done, Lil Buddy seemed pretty happy to be back home, on my desk behind my laptop. Satisfied that I did something productive for the day, I started browsing the internet- ahem, I mean, studying profusely (because I'm in college, and that's what college people do, right?) for a while. Not sure how long it was, maybe less than an hour. Then Brennen calls me, and we start chatting. I'm telling him about my day:
Me: Oh, so I cleaned Buddy's bowl today.
Brennnen: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, he seems really...

Then I stop talking, because I realize that I can't see Buddy. Thinking he was hiding in his castle, I stand up to look inside the bowl. As I did so, I noticed a dried out brown leaf on my desk. I think to myself "Golly, that sure is weird," and go to pick it up. Just as I'm about to make contact, I realize that it's not a leaf- it's the shriveled up corpse of  Buddy!

What Buddy looked like post-mortem. I got this picture from another person's blog. Apparently beta fish suicide is pretty common.

So I do what any level-headed, intelligent, beautiful young lady may do in this situation: Start screaming and jumping around. Accompanied with this hysteria came freaked-out-tears and hyperventilation. Possibly the first time in my life I've ever hyperventilated.
I run out of my room, with Brennen still on the phone, and mind you, I haven't explained to him what has happened. My suite-mates come running out of their rooms (because I was rather loud) wondering if I was alright. I manage to explain to them and Brennen what happen.
So I calm myself down after 5 minutes, and decide that I need to grow a pair and dispose of the body. With two flash cards, one to scoop and one to carry, I attempted such. However, when I touched Buddy, HE TWITCHED. Seriously.
So I again freak out pretty badly, and my friends once again come to my aid. We all came to the general consensus that we needed a boy. One friend went across the hall to fetch one. He comes in, and we explain what happened, and he's all like:
"Oh yeah, No wonder you freaked out, fish and reptiles retain nerves even after they're dead. I know that, cuz I'm a guy, and I like gross things, la dee da dee da*."  Not an exact quote
So he picks Buddy up with the flash cards and goes to flush it in our bathroom. Two seconds later, he runs out, and tells us all to come and look. OK, I'm not shitting you on this next thing:
BUDDY WAS SWIMMING AROUND IN THE TOILET BOWL.
Like, seriously.
So now I'm wondering if I should get him out, but before we could take action, Buddy Swims down the U-Bend! Giving up, we seal his fate and flush the toilet, deciding that if he wanted death that badly, he could have it.
Plus we didn't want someone to pee, and look in to see a fish swimming around. That would be fairly frightening.

See ya, nicole

Body Functions

So I did something really stupid the other morning. It's slightly embarrassing, and I mulled over whether or not to write a post about it for a couple of days. Lucky for you, I decided to endure the ridicule, and share my adventure with you.
I didn't have to be up terribly early, but there was a thunderstorm that woke me up. It was still fairly early (like, 7:30ish), so I tried going back to sleep. While I was laying there, I had a gurgling in my stomach that turned into a bout of flatulence. In other words, I let out a huge fart- and why shouldn't I? Despite the popular belief, girls do pass gas, and even *gasp!* poop. So with that relief having taken place, I embarked on my way back to dreamworld, snuggled up in my heating blanket and comforter.
Unfortunately, within 20 seconds of this, lightning accompanied thunder, and the bright flashing made it hard to go back to sleep. I normally keep an eye-mask next to my bed for such occasions, but this morning, it was nowhere (near my bed, at least) to be found, and I didn't want to get out of bed to look for it.
Now here comes the stupid part:
I turn over towards the wall, and pull my comforter and bed sheet over my head to block the light.
Oh. My. God.
I must have been at least 3/4 asleep to forget that less than 15 seconds ago, I broke wind underneath said bed sheets. Not smart. The stench was fairly horrible.
Needless to say, I quickly retreated from within my stink infested, light blocking fort, gasping for clean air. And, again needless to say, I became far too awake to go back to sleep.

Adios, nicole

Aging

I hear all the time that one of the worst way to give yourself wrinkles is to lay on your face when you sleep. Others include obvious reasons, like smoking, drinking, and not washing your face. Now, they say that if you can't help sleeping on your face, then get a satin or silk pillowcase to prevent the wrinkles. To this, I must ask: What the eff? How does that help in any way? The logic behind wrinkle pillow sleeping is that you're putting weight on one side of your face, crushing and rippling it night after night. How does the material make a difference? There's still weight on your face. Even if it does help, I'd probably just end up slipping off the luxurious pillow down to the cotton covered mattress. Back to square 1. And don't even mention silk or satin bedsheets to fix the slipping problem, because I would just slide out of bed whilst I slumber. I think carpet or hardwood floor is worse than a squishy pillow.

Aaack!!! Stop it, while you're young!

So now I have two options: 1) learn to sleep uncomfortably on my back and never spoon again, or 2) live with the consequences of sleeping soundly and get the fucking wrinkles. However, now I'm in a Catch 22, because if I sleep soundly on my face, I'll get wrinkles, but if I sleep uncomfortably on my back, I'll lose sleep, and thusly still give myself wrinkles. *Sigh* I guess I'll just deal with the lesser two evils.

There are other consequences to sleeping on your side as well. Yes, it's still wrinkles, but somewhere else: boobies. Yes, that's right, squishing your twins together every night causes a vertical line. I think it's them trying to set a distinction to which side is whose.

Left Boob: OK, now that this giant line is here, stay on your side!
Right Boob: Maybe I would, but the refrigerator's on your side!
Left Boob: That may be, but the bathroom's with you, so I think I have to put up with more, so shove it.
Right Boob: Listen, why do we have to split up like this? Can't we share Nicole's left and right side equally? I mean, I was hoping we could still be--
Left Boob: Be what? FRIENDS? Not after I caught you with that other girl's left boob.
Right Boob: We were comparing sizes! I swear baby, she means nothing to me!
Left Boob: No! I've had it with your BS! Don't make this harder than it already is.


Yeah, suddenly, I'm really glad my boobs can't talk.

Bye bye, nicole

Blue Footed Boobies

Beauty

Alert the media!* Our society has an obsession with beauty! Holy Crap!!!*****

Sarcasm*****

So, it's not any surprise that our society has a very tight, specific, cookie cutter idea of beauty. Because of fashion models and Photoshop, women are expected to be extremely thin, while men are required to have washboard abs. People put their bodies through torture via liposuction, facial reconstructive surgery, breaking legs to become taller, surgery to change the sound of your voice, and even aesthetic genital surgery... "designer vaginas", if you will. Can't you just picture it now? Swarovski Crystal Lined Labias! Vera Wang Vulvas! John Deer Trimmed Bikini Areas? Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Anyways, we all know that whenever we open a fashion magazine, all we see is skinny women Photoshopped into perfection. There are even places like this that endorse anorexia.

Perfection****

Now, I'm not saying that skinny women aren't real women; do you have a vagina? Then you're a woman. Neither am I trying to say that they aren't beautiful.Thin women have an air of delicacy and grace. I have often caught myself envying thin women because of their "fairyness" as I call it.

Wow, she could definitely afford to lose a few****

But there's nothing wrong with curves either. Women with curves are just as beautiful. It really comes down to personal taste to decide which you prefer. I would place myself in the "curves" category. My measurements are 36" bust, 27" waist,  38" hip. Do I think I'm fat? On good days like this, no. Of course, I have my days when I feel so bloated or insecure that I feel like I'm an oversized blob of blubber. But almost every woman has those days. Truth is, I've finally come to a point in my life where I can look at myself and think I'm beautiful.

Do you think these women are fat?

Being able to call yourself beautiful is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders (haha, puns). I struggled with it for years, mainly because I had curves in 6th grade when most girls are stick skinny through most of high school. I went through being teased for my boobs for years (I'm talking like 4th grade [yes, I had to wear a bra in 4th grade, and not a training bra either] through 6th or 7th grade, until they finally became objects of envy). These years of torment scarred me and left me feeling overweight when I wasn't. Pair that with our society's obsession that ONLY skinny women are beautiful, and if course I was doomed for an eating disorder.
Life is much better now. True, there are still things about my body I would like to change, of course, but we're all our worst critics. And this is not only for women, but men too. You think men aren't insecure about themselves? Shiiiiit, man. Of course they are! Everyone is affected by Greek God and Goddess advertisements. It's not fair to anyone to shove one concept of beauty down our throats. A lot of people take the stance that magazines should only portray curvy women, which isn't right either. What we need is variety.
Thoughts?

Ta-ta for now, nicole



PS, Happy 38 Months, Brennen. Love you.

An interesting thought...

I heard something the other day:

Faith is the belief in something that is not based on fact, and since God knows everything, He cannot have faith. And because God is the highest power, He can not believe in a higher power. So, conclusively, God is an atheist. 
Now, please don't go off on a rant about how I must be an atheist, or that I'm going to Hell for believing this, or anything else. I don't want to start a religious battle; I just thought this was an interesting point of view *shrug*.
So hello to my numerous and splendiferous fans! How are you this fine day? I'm doing quite well, in case you're interested. I suppose I should take this time to let you know more about Yours Truly. I'm 20, about to turn 21 (but I don't take much stock on drinking). I am an actor, a player of the stage, and I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. I love it. For all you lonely guys out there, sorry, I'm madly in love with my boyfriend; for the sake of confidentiality, let's call him Brennen. We've been together for a little over 3 years, and we're not slowing down any time soon. I live in SoCal, and I love it. I highly doubt I will move away at any time. Unless there's an invasion of 1930's Nazis. Or an impending meteor shower. Or both. Or if I get a really, REALLY tempting job in New York. It would have to be SNL or something like that to get me to move somewhere where it snows for half the year. Not that I don't like snow, but a girl who grew up in the desert area (120 degrees in the summer) can only take so much.
I'm not very politically active. I should be, but I'm not. For some reason, I don't care to know President Obama's every move, or which country hurt what country's feelings. I just feel like there can be so much activity, drama, and stress in my own life, why do I need to add more by reading the paper every day? Maybe after I get out of school, I'll be so bored with no homework I'll have to resort to the news. Until then, I'll be self-absorbed and concentrate on keeping my life as hectic-free as possible. 
Speaking of which, not much is going on in my life right now. I'm acting in Equus as Dora Strang. I've never had to play an uptight religious person before, so it's a work in progress. But I definitely think I'm getting the hang of it. I need to do more research and thought about the type of person Dora is, so by the end of this, I will be able to portray her very well. All in all, I am very excited to be involved in this play. 
Maybe next time I'll have something a bit more interesting for you all to read. Oh, also, I'm thinking about turning this into a video blog! Thoughts? Comments? Let me know!
Adios, nicole.

Greetings!

Welcome to Post #1 of hopefully many. My name is Nicole, and I'm an actress majoring in Theatre at (Unnamed Prestigious) University. I plan on making this blog about funny events in my life, social commentary, specified criticisms, all mixed in with Rediculosity and Impressionism. I'm not quite sure what that means yet, but that's ok: it'll be an adventure! We'll figure it out together =)