Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Mistake


He looked into her eyes, and heaved a sigh of relief. His reprieve was short lived, however, as he saw the look on her face. First shock, which then morphed into anger and hurt; the tears welled in her eyes, but she fought to hold them back.
“So that’s it then?” she asked, with a slight quiver in her voice.
“I suppose, yeah.” Ashamed. His brief moment of freedom and ecstasy was reduced to shame. How could she always do that? She did even really do anything this time, but she still managed to do it. He didn’t know how she did it… maybe it was the way her lip trembled when she was upset, maybe it was just the way the sun hit her eyes and lit them up, but she always made him feel guilty for doing what he thought was right.
“Jesus Christ, Tommy,” she managed, “what the fuck were you thinking?” He could see the information sinking into her. The wheels in her head were turning, processing what had just told her. She put one hand on her hip, the other to her face, and started pacing the room.
“Sara, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I-”
“No, stop.” She stopped pacing and stared at my shoes, like she always does when she’s upset. “Don’t you dare try to apologize for this. You knew, you fucking knew how much this meant to me. This weekend was supposed to be special for me. I thought I could trust you. But no, you had to go fuck it up like you do everything else.”
“I didn’t know they would react like that! But I just thought they had a right to know beforehand. They would have had seizures if you showed up here like that without warning.”
“I told them all they needed to know.”
“You didn’t, and you know it. You told them you were bringing ‘someone special’ home with you. Mom and Dad are Catholic. You can’t just drop a bomb on two old-fashioned church goers like that.” She finally looked up at him.
“It wasn’t your shit to tell.”
“I know,” Tommy responded, “and I’m sorry. But I did the right thing. And see how much better it turned out? If you had just shown up here holding hands with another woman, they would have freaked the shit out! I know, because they did when I first told them-”
“Tommy-”
“But then they had a couple of days to calm down, and they greeted you and Christina with open arms- milk and cookies, for Chrissake! Did you really want your first real relationship like this to be plagued with Mom and Dad screaming at you?”
“That’s not the point! That’s not the fucking point!” Sara broke down now. She seemed to crumple onto her bed, shaking with tears. Tommy rushed to her side. He sat down next to her, putting one hand on her shoulder, and the other on her back. Sara took a moment to breathe and calm down, and then continued, “That’s not the point. They should have heard it from me. I wanted to be the one who told them. I wanted that feeling of accomplishment. Telling your parents that you’re gay is supposed to be liberating. I don’t know if-”
Sara was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Mind vs Body

So, I've been realizing something more and more lately: My body is calling out for children. Every time I see a cute kid on the street or television, I say something stupid like "That is such a good looking child; I hope my kids are that good looking," or something like that. Especially little boys... for some reason I have a tendency to want a son. It's weird. Every time I think or say something about wanting kids, I stop myself and wonder why I just had that notion, because I really don't want children yet. I'm only (6 days short of) 21. I don't need or want kids for about another decade.
So my mind and body are fighting with each other about this subject matter. You see, my body is very impulsive, and it feels that I'm now to the age where I should be having kids. Maybe it has to do with so many people in my family having kids at around my age, maybe it has to do with the caveman instincts- you know, where so many ancestors did or felt something, and somehow through DNA or genetic whatever, that same action or feeling gets passed on to you. But whatever the cause, I'm happy that my mind isn't putting up with my body's bullcrap. My mind knows that I would make a horrible parent right now. I would grow to resent my children for taking my youth away from me. I want to stay young and free for as long as I can.
Body: Psssst, Nicole.... Hey, see that toddler over there? The one with the dark brown curly hair? Look how cute he is. Your kids will have dark curly hair, I know it. Isn't he adorable? Doesn't it make you want to-
Mind: Stop! Stop right there! Body, we've had this discussion. Nicole, sure he's cute, but think about all the crying, screaming, pooping, and sleepless nights his parents have gone through to raise him. Are you ready for that? I think not.
Body: Mind, listen... She doesn't have much time left. She's not a teenager anymore. She's only got 252 eggs left in her. Every month, she loses one- whoops, make that 251. You see?! Time is ticking! Pretty soon, she won't have any left, and she won't have passed on her lineage.
Mind: I'm not listening to this. If I let you have your way, she'd have 8 kids by the time she's 30-
Body: Only 8?!-
Mind: -and I won't let that happen. She won't end up a shriveled up, bitter old woman so long as I have a say in it.
Body: Fine. Let her become a lonely old maid. Pft. See if I care.
Mind: I won't let that happen.
~1 day later~
Body: Hey Nicole, look at that baby over there. Or even better... Look at that chocolate cake his head is next to...
Mind: Goddamnit, Body!

Bye bye, nicole

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Smarts

If in the case you were wondering as to the credentials and general intelligence of yours truly, here is a screenshot of my smartness.
I whited out anything that revealed personal information... or just embarrassing stuff.

I'm overall smarter than 98% of people within 5 years of my age on this website. I feel so smart! Here's a link, you should check the site out: Lumosity

In other news, this is the first time I've posted two updates in one day! Oh sure, it's fine now, but wait till I start getting really into it; I'll end up turning Impressionation into a status update. It'll get annoying really fast.
Also, yes that is Plants vs Zombies and World of Warcraft on my toolbar. I know. I'm cool.

See ya, nicole